please dear, just give me sometime. do you know sth? i feel like writing in a language that only you and i know. no one else will understand. but i dont think there is one like that. im so sad. you are sad. im even more sad. i wished that i had never exist here, this world, where everything seems so_____(funny? ahaha). i wished i had never gone for the dinner that night with you guys or that s didn't go. i will still treat you as my ______(CCA? haha) friend. Dont make me feel bad about what im doing. You arent stuck, you are free. and who cares about washing your fishtank or sth, this has nothing to do wif it. i dont owe you an explanation. zhao gao, mei qi wei she me bian chen zhe me man bu jiang li nen? ha ha. wo bu zhi dao. i will (definitely not me, dan qi ta ren) say when it is the right time. im awake so early. ern woke me up. naughty boy. im scared. but i dont know of what. i think this yr is the worst yr so far with so many things happening which i wont want them to happen.i owe u phonecall from ytd night. sorry. dont be irritated. will call you when i think i can call. i dont call any one else bsides you this hols. mayb there is but not as long as i can talk to you. i hardly can stand one day not calling you. but let me try tdy. im determined i can do it. give me some time to train myself to survive without you voice. wo men yong yuan shi em an em zhi dao ma?